460 Days. It's the complete opposite of what everyone told us it would be.
BEFORE YOU READ THIS PLEASE NOTE I AM No love doctor ha or EXPERT I JUST SPEAK FROM MY POINT OF VIEW.
"Are you sure you're ready?"
"Do you really want to get married?"
"Marriage is so hard, no one prepares you for it."
"Get ready for the hardest year of your life."
"The first year is full of fights and angry nights."
PLEASE. Some married girl or guy out there tell me I'm not the only who thinks all the voices of these quotes are absolutely crazy?! Marriage is the most fun thing I've ever experienced.. I mean who doesn't want to be roommates with their best friend forever?! I know I did.
Let me start by saying this. I NEVER in a million years wanted to get married. I wanted to graduate college, serve a mission and become a successful business woman in whatever field I was interested in at the moment... I wanted that freedom that I thought came from not being married. Freedom meaning money, traveling, and a whole lot more me time.. selfish right? Guilty as charged. I would never be tied down to "some" guy. It just sounded so good to me to live in an apartment with a fish the rest of my life. Oh and not to mention with marriage comes... don't make me say it.. KIDS!!! Blech. haha JUST KIDDING. But for real if my family and friends thought I was anti-marriage, I can't even imagine what word they once used for my lack of desire to be a mom.
Here is where my "problem" began.. I have the best parents who just celebrated their 30 anniversary. So I had this image in my head that marriage could I suppose be.. dare I say it WONDERFUL, "alright" and maybe fun for some people.. I just wasn't on that boat yet..but I guess that is where grain of rice size possibility of maybe one day I will get married existed.
FAST FORWARD to May 20, 2016
I, Marissa Kimber, was married and sealed to Leland Tanner in the Dallas Fort Worth LDS Temple, and we haven't looked back since.
It's been 460 days. 460. That is crazy to us!? We find ourselves often asking each other when does the fighting begin? When do one of us sleep on the couch?
I am in no WAY.SHAPE. OR FORM saying that we have the PERFECT relationship because let's be straight up a perfect marriage does not exist. What does exist though (at least in my opinion) is a perfect MATCH. Not perfect as in no flaws, mistakes, or error. But perfect in our effort to love and to be a spouse. Tanner and I will attribute our happiness to the fact we dated for a few years. We had plenty of time to work out the kinks and quirks before we got married. We started out as acquaintances who started hanging out, and then on to best friends, and then we dated. Our relationship is founded on a FRIENDSHIP we are not just spouses. He's not just my HUSBAND and I am not just his WIFE. He is my person. My number one squeeze and my boo thang, not to mention he is my BEST FRIEND.
WE LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE SPOUSES QUIT BEING BEST FRIENDS.
I have no idea why this happens, but I see it all the time. I see my married friends without children get lost in their work life, finances or even their priorities are their friends over their spouses. Like what? Honey. No. It's not okay. And then there are my married friends with children, and as a person with no children I tread very lightly because I know children are demanding and take the attention you once were able to give one another and divides it among 4 or 5 little humans screaming, pooping, crying. But between those screams and tears giggles, laughs and are two arms that give you hugs that you and your best friend created. TOGETHER. I sometimes want to yell at certain parents and just be like you two created the most beautiful baby! How cool is is that you get to raise that cutie with your best friend in the entire world?! So cool. So cool. Not to mention I can only imagine seeing a little mini me of you and your favorite person has to be very rewarding.
So please. Don't get lost in life or your children. Make time to tickle, serve, laugh, joke and most of all love.
Now, I want to add a few things about mine and Tan's relationship. He is the REAL MVP he always has been.Tanner ANNOYS me.. but wait.. didn't I say we are the perfect match? That's why he annoys me. Let me explain- Tanner's patience level is straight up INHUMANE Tanner's patience level is probably at like a level 46,567,895 and mine a straight 1. I kid you not. like, girl please. Tanner, also has a contention level of ZERO. Me? Oh you can bet I want to argue and fight every once in a while.. Why? I have no idea... but he just nods and says, "I love you" any time I try and get him worked up. Like come on?! Annoying right? haha. So yeah, we are very different people, but that is what makes our marriage, friendship and relationship such a beautiful one. He is everything I am not and I am everything he isn't. And the things we have in common just make us that much stronger and wiser. Tanner is KIND he has the most gentle heart.. he'd kill me if he knew I was explaining him that way, but I guess by the time he reads this it will already be published. (Oh hey babe! I love you.insert awkward wink her)
If you are still reading this let me just wrap things up for you.Tanner and I,JIVE he is the person who makes me a better person and I am the person who makes him a better person, I have no idea how because in my eyes he truly is perfect. Tanner is so easy to love and he makes marriage so easy not because of his annoyingly high patience level or his lack of contention, but because he is my person and he is exactly the person I thought would never exist for myself. Someone that was worth me putting my needs and wants on the side to put theirs first. Tanner's happiness is my happiness. When you find a friend where life just feels right and complete with don't let that go, hold on tight because you are in for an amazing ride.